From Indifference to Engagement: What Changed My Perspective

If you’ve followed my writings, you know that I’ve usually taken a centrist stance. However, in recent years, I’ve found myself leaning more to the left. Here’s why.

I believed the middle was a fair space, where I could see both sides and find common ground. This allowed me to think outside of party lines. My biggest challenge was always thinking critically about who I was voting for and why.

To be honest - I gave myself parameters but didn’t always do enough research to make informed decisions. I often based my choices on “hot” issues and candidates who aligned with what I thought I believed. I relied on others to make better voting decisions, avoiding political conversations to keep the peace. Sometimes, I voted for a Republican president and a Democratic Congress, or vice versa. I guess you could say I was more of a pacifist than a centrist.

Voting felt like taking a standardized test I hadn’t prepared for, cramming just enough to pass. No matter which side was in power, I felt my needs were largely unfulfilled and believed things wouldn’t change much regardless of who was in office.

Before I go further with this piece, I want to say that political violence is not the way to solve problems. Whether it’s the attack on the former president, to the insurrection, to looting and burning small businesses, to running over protesters. None of that should be how we resolve our issues in this country. If that is all we have then we have nothing. We do better together and finding ways to unite. We are more divided than ever and I don’t know how to fix it but we must try to find peaceful ways to move through this. Our enemies would love nothing more than for us to destroy ourselves from within. Let’s not give them the satisfaction.

After George Floyd was murdered, I think something broke in my passive system. Not all at once, but kind of like a steam engine that gained momentum in every passing moment. I watched the brutal 9 min and 29 secs of his life ending. I felt a deep wail from within me burst out as though it was sent from something much larger than me. I’d never witnessed something like that. I was confused as to how it could happen by someone who was supposed to be trustworthy. I watched video after video, listened to expert after expert, just trying to make sense of what I saw. Was this warranted, was it murder, was it a mistake? I didn’t know because I didn’t have all the facts yet. I just remember looking at the former officer while he kept Floyd down and thought - his eyes. His eyes were cold. I know that’s not evidence or proof, but later the evidence proved him to be guilty.

What happened next changed everything. Protests began, which I understood, but they were followed by riots, looting, and fires, which terrified me. I thought, this won’t get your point across; people will use it against you. Violence isn’t the answer, and I was right—people did use it against the cause. There were rumors that radicals were paid to incite violence to discredit the protests, but it was hard to distinguish truth from rumor. I was scared of everything I saw, including the actions of white supremacy groups. During this time, I heard the term “systemic racism” for the first time and had no idea what it meant. Initially, I didn’t know if Floyd’s death was a result of racism or a dirty cop. Over time, I understood the broader issues at play. I had been privileged and undereducated, believing racism was mostly a thing of the past. I mentioned my feelings on violence to a friend, who quoted Martin Luther King Jr.: “A riot is the language of the unheard.”  This slapped.

As the heat rose across the nation, I found myself conflicted in my wishes vs reality. Understanding something I hadn’t experienced or been taught was difficult. I didn’t want to offend anyone by asking questions but knew I needed to learn. I needed to start with someone I trusted. I went to a very close friend. One who I knew would be straight with me, but gentle and forgiving for my ignorance. I asked what he felt about all of it and if he could teach me what I didn’t get. He patiently explained systemic racism, provided examples, and guided me to more resources. This opened Pandora’s box for me. Once opened, there was no going back. I watched video after video of explanations because some really good teachers took the time to explain. They didn’t owe it to me or anyone to do so, but the education was priceless. It took time to grasp all the layers - and boy that onion has many. And learning what I’ve learned made me sad, made me angry, and it made me want to advocate and learn even more. I’m not good at speaking out my beliefs. My own core issues keep me from feeling ok with pissing off a lot of people even though I want not to care. I’m really bad about speaking up if I don’t fully understand something. While I’ll never fully grasp the oppression people of color face, I’ve gained a deeper awareness. I was initially confused when some people of color criticized the BLM movement, suggesting it created a victim mentality. My friend explained that while there are exceptions, they don’t represent the majority view. He was right.

Not long after the rise of the BLM movement, Roe v. Wade was overturned. To understand my feelings, I need to share my evolving views on abortion. I never believed it was an issue for the government to control. There was a time I would have considered an abortion if I became pregnant. Later, as things changed in my life, I personally decided I wouldn’t choose abortion, but I still believed it should not be government-regulated. I did become alarmed when I heard rumors that there were abortions happening post birth, but I later learned that this was not happening and that it was a media scare tactic that to be honest is just gross to lie about. When Roe was overturned, I was shocked. Conservatives had assured me it would never happen, yet it did. They lied, or were lied to. Some said it was good thing because now the states would decide. I liked that thinking. I thought, yeah let the people decide what they want. I thought, how could this be bad - if we don’t like how a state runs itself we can always move. Again, a privileged thought. I had the means to think that way, but I didn’t even stop to think about those that didn’t. I tried to be on board with the state thing until I found out a key piece of information that was missing from my voting political toolkit. The states didn’t always do what the voters wanted. Wha???? How is this possible? Why are we wasting time voting on propositions and such if they aren’t obligated to do what the majority wants? Not only did I learn that they do not have to do what the majority wants but I also learned about gerrymandering. A word that had been thrown around for years but I never really understood it. I also learned that some states were actively trying to trick their voters by wording things in such a way that people might vote for it thinking it means something totally different than what it does. Next thing I knew, I watched state after state turning back on old laws that not only hurt those seeking an abortion for choice, but also those that needed it medically to stop suffering or to survive. This decision essentially said, “I don’t care that it’s your body, you will do as I say with it and you have zero say into what happens.” I couldn’t believe the feeling of resentment that boiled inside. It was like my eyes finally opened. I’d never really been told no or had to worry - not like that - and now old white men were the ones telling me what I could and couldn’t do with my own body if I faced that challenge. They weren’t saying that men had to take birth control or that they would outlaw them from having viagra, but they were telling us that no matter what - we had to obey their rules and our bodies belong to them.

I’m sorry it took so long for me to fully understand. I wish I had grasped understanding oppression sooner. The pushback against women made me realize the severity of losing autonomy. If you die, you have the right to decide your treatment and what happens to your body and organs. No one can force you to stay on treatment or donate organs if you don’t want to. So why does a dying or dead person have more autonomy than a healthy person with a fetus? It’s not just about fetuses; they’re coming for birth control too. Why does this group want to control our bodies?

Then there’s IVF. I have family who wouldn’t be here without it, yet some are targeting it too. Pro-life seems to apply only where it fits the alt-right narrative, and the mental gymnastics required to justify this are exhausting.

Pro-life should mean you believe in the life of the living. That a person should have the right to live and the right to protect their body. Pro-life should mean caring about mothers who do choose to have children, giving them the aid needed in childcare, time off work, and other important needs. Pro-life should be caring about the children in a broken foster-care system, providing them with safer options and allowing qualifying parents to adopt in a better system then what is currently in place. Pro-life should mean caring about children in school having more safety than the person who acquires an automatic weapon at the local hunt store with no checks and balances. We require more of drivers. Pro life should be the care of all humanity - whether they believe in the same things as you or even if they look different, live differently, or act differently than you.

Over time, I saw that those who claimed to protect the innocent were often caught in a single narrative, ignoring other important issues. There is a middle ground, but it seems the powers that be don’t want us to find it.

LGBTQ+ - I will not apologize for believing that they deserve human rights, and the same rights as anyone else. I will not apologize for being okay with same sex marriage. What’s it to you? If you don’t like it don’t do it. Trans community - if someone changes their appearance by surgery or medication - what is it to you? If you don’t like it, don’t do it. I know some have been worried about trans-children and damaging a child with medication or surgery. From what I understand, surgery isn’t really a thing most children are doing. Most of the time it’s medications. Medications that are also used for other hormonal issues that some children experience. Not all trans have surgery or take medication. There some that only use clothing and haircuts to present who they are. I don’t see why we need the government to be involved. It should be up to the parents and the doctors. Again, not the government. I’m not telling you to like it. I’m not telling you to do it. I’m telling you to stop telling everyone else what they can and can’t do with their own bodies.

Some use scripture to demonize the LGBTQ+ community and women’s rights, but scripture also contains many outdated and ignored teachings. For example, Leviticus 9:10 condemns eating fish as an abomination, Exodus 23:9 instructs not to oppress foreigners, and Leviticus 15:19-20 declares women unclean during menstruation. Deuteronomy 25:11-12 says a wife should have her hand removed if she grabs a man’s testicles to protect her husband, Leviticus 25:44-46 allows purchasing slaves including children and gifting them to children, and Proverbs 23:2 suggests putting a knife to your throat if you have a large appetite.

We don’t follow most of these scriptures, though I believe we should adhere to those against oppressing foreigners. Why do some groups pick and choose which scriptures to weaponize against others? I believe it’s due to indoctrination. Certain sects of Christianity are taught with a poor spirit, making it challenging to think differently, critically. It took years for me to shed some of my Catholic fears. Then after surviving a cult I now recognize the ease of falling prey to manipulation, even with the best intentions. Sadly, many Christians today are caught in similar traps. This doesn’t apply to all—many wonderful churches teach Christ’s teachings faithfully. While I’m not an expert, I can recognize hypocrisy, and it’s troubling to see many claim Christ while idolizing ideas or individuals.

I understand some people do follow certain food scriptures and others. My examples show scriptures that most Christians don’t follow today or aren’t required to in their sect. I’m not implying anyone is bad for their dietary choices. I’m highlighting how some scriptures are selectively enforced while others are ignored, often without understanding their historical context. Scripture is frequently taken out of context to control and instill fear. And let me also say, there are Christians who believe the left wants to take away their right to practice Christianity. This is the narrative that’s been given to them by the media and those using the church to move political agendas. The reality is most left peeps that I know could care less what religion you practice. They just don’t want to be forced, manipulated, or coerced into it. They want to choose what they want to believe because we live in a nation that allows religious freedom. To my fellow Christians, the left do not want to stop you from practicing your faith they just don’t want you trying to claim your faith as the law when that was not at all how our country was founded. Saying that it was is a gross misunderstanding of our founding fathers. They tried to put protections in so that religion could have no authority in the government while also making sure the government could have no authority over religions. The words “Under God” was only added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954. My point is this: We, whether Christian or any other religion, do not want our government to get intertwined in religion. This is what happened to nations in the middle east and things haven’t gone so well since then.

I’m not here to give a Bible or Constitution lesson—I’m not an expert—but I know what I know.

When Project 2025 came to my attention last year, I realized the alt-right’s plans for government control were extensive. Their desired changes would have major implications, especially if Supreme Court justices retire and are replaced by younger, more extreme judges. This dramatic shift scares me. Most conservatives aren’t far-right extremists—they want lower taxes and to keep more of their earnings. And if you get right down to it, most conservatives and most moderate liberals want the same things. They just disagree on how to accomplish the goal. The current administration here in 2024, wants billionaires to pay their fair share without targeting the lower or middle class when it comes to taxes. They’re working to protect Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and veterans without harming most Americans, unlike the other side that has actively proposed tax cuts slashing all of those programs. You can pull cspan clips or do a google search to see the bills proposed by the House and also who and how they voted. Regarding the border, I believe in securing it for safety while reforming the system to help asylum seekers receive assistance and work while awaiting court dates. We need a humane system that doesn’t separate children from parents or use extreme measures like razor wire and drowning. While I’m not qualified to solve the problem, I know one side is trying to improve it while the other stalls for political reasons, which is unacceptable.

Regarding Gaza, this is so incredibly hard for me to speak on. First, I need to say this emphatically, I love my Jewish brothers and sisters and nothing I say in support of Palestinians is in any way an attack or against anyone of Jewish descent. I’ve watched in real time, for the first time, a war that has gone after more innocent people than I could’ve ever thought we’d be capable of in this century. Watching children blown to bits and shot in cars while waiting for rescue, and rescue killed while trying to bring aid…it’s just incomprehensible to me. While I wholeheartedly disagree with what hamas did to the innocent people of Israel, I can’t be okay with the disproportionate action taken by Netanyahu. I know if you haven’t been watching the war from the videos innocent reporters in Palestine have been sharing on social media, then it may be difficult for you to read this. If I hadn’t seen it myself, I may have believed only what media said and sadly, it’s been very muddled. Some ask why innocent people don’t turn over their leaders, but consider:

1. The leaders are a terrorist group with guns and the capacity for horrific acts—how safe would it be to do that?

2. If you haven’t seen the apartheid conditions before the war, it may be hard to understand the difficulty in getting help from the Israeli military.

This has been one of the most horrifying things I’ve witnessed. Similar horrors happen in other places, like Iran, where people suffer under a terrorist regime. I understand why many young people don’t want to vote because of the US’s involvement in such issues. However, until we change to ranked voting, we are a two-party system, and votes for a third party or not voting at all benefit the other side. Voting for someone who wants to turn the government into an authoritarian regime will make things worse. What happens when your vote no longer counts? Fight for freedom and democracy (at the ballot box), believe in change, and consider aligning with centrists to remove extremists. Just like they did in UK. That’s what I’m doing. At some point we, as a nation, can do what it takes to get change into our party system. Look into RepresentUs to learn more about how we can build this for our future. Until then, we as nation, must strategize and vote for the long term future.

The Republican Party is not what it once was. This alt-right is a new group with a different agenda. If you want to know what those in power plan to do if elected, read their playbook. Project 2025 or Agenda 47. They are telling you who they are, so believe them. This isn’t just about a president, this is everyone - congress, state congress, govenor. When there is a vote you can participate.

Bodily autonomy isn’t the only right at risk. Some in power, including those behind the scenes like the Heritage Foundation, believe women shouldn’t vote and that men should vote for the household. They claim women are the reason for the world’s sins. Here’s Joel Webber saying just that: Joel Webber on Women Voting. The newly picked Republican VP believes women should stay in violent marriages. THINK about what this means—they want to take away our rights. If you’re a Republican who cares about these issues, sometimes it’s better to vote for the other side to remove extremists.

I’m terrified of what could happen if the far right takes power. Many conservatives don’t believe these extreme ideas will come to fruition and continue to vote for their party, thinking it will remain moderate. It’s too late for that—the party has shifted. I think the current administration is pretty good. I know the right disagrees. And while we will be learning over the next couple of weeks who is taking President Biden’s place in the campaign, I believe we can’t lose if we vote for the right to vote later. The reason I’m leaning as much as I am is not just for the now but what is planned. Project 2025, while it may only be a “guide” to the republican party and president - it’s an extremely well thought out -strategic playbook that has many of the former President’s team advocating for it or worked on it. Do your homework. Learn what they are saying. Read the docs. Know who you are voting for. If you still choose the right, or not to vote, or you go green, that’s your decision. You have to do what is right in your heart. All I ask of anyone right now - please do not trust the media’s rendition of things. Go read the docs yourself. Please learn and make an informed decision.

I know a lot of people reading this will disagree and say you’re an actress, stick to that. I’d love to. I’d love to go back to sticking my head in the sand. It was an easier place to be. But I’m doing a disservice to myself and to those that like me by not being true to myself. These are the reasons I believe what I believe. I don’t believe taking away rights will bring safety to anyone - no matter who. Regulation on a lot of levels can be helpful. No matter what it is. And some things government should have no involvement. You are free to believe what you want to believe in the USA right now, but if the far right has it their way, they will make this a theocracy. And that freedom will no longer apply. They wouldn’t like it if another religion tried to do this to them. Heck they wouldn’t like it if a different denomination of Christianity tried to impose their beliefs into government and force others to comply. I think there’s a lot open for discussion in the current affairs and I think if we all tried to find a middle ground we could get somewhere on all sides. But as long as extremists are leading, the pendulum has to swing in order to find its way back to middle. Thank you for taking the time to hear me. I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you enjoy, please like and share on your favorite social platforms.