Melissa Archer

Writer Director Actress - All the Things

Melissa Archer is an actress, writer, producer, vanlifer, and offers a line of apparel and accessories.

Adventures in #Defcon -A melodramatic comedy -Chapter One

Chapter One: How I survived trying to get to #QueerCon

It was a glorious Friday evening as I departed from my friends at Caesars and started my long and treacherous path back to Paris Hotel. There was a slight breeze for the beginning of the walk which my appreciation grew for as I headed down the escalator from Bellagio skywalk to Bally's and the breeze decided to hide. Sweaty and sore, I trekked through the scary crowds of tourists to the hotel and hopped into freezing cold casino floor of Paris. My anticipation of the QueerCon Party had me moving like a speed demon through the sea of people to hurry to my room so I could get ready for my favorite pool party. I hurried to get ready, packed my bag, made a sandwich and then waited for my friends. 10:40 approaches and we are finally on our way to Caesars to catch the shuttle to our night of ridiculous fun. We arrive, take the secret elevator, and walk towards the end of the line. The announcement to pull out id's was called out, so I open my new #Telephreak Bag and dig for my wallet. Which I then remember I didn't pack because of obvious reasons, but I also forgot to pull my license out and at least have that. It was already getting so late, and I didn't want to miss another minute of the party. I offered to show them a picture of it, but unfortunately the real thing was required and I had to race back to my hotel. My Uber driver recognized the urgency in getting there and getting me back to the party and even offered to wait for me. We came up with a plan of action, as I dug around my bag for my room key. "It's not there. Shit." As we approached the drop-off, I released him from waiting..."this might take awhile." "No key, no license, and I'm not on the room. Oh boy." Never to to fear, the hotel was fabulously helpful and I finally reunited with my ID and room key and raced for the elevator. "It couldn't be better, no one is on the elevator. I should be back in an uber in less than 5 min, and will finally be able to enjoy the party." I pulled out my phone to let my friends know "I'm okay and on my way." And then it happened. The elevator jolted. The noise of movement stopped. The C for Casino had turned into two dashes. I was stuck on an elevator. Alone. I immediately opened the phone box and called their emergency line. Told them what elevator I was in and they said they'd send someone at once. I stand around for about 20 whole seconds. Thoughts racing through my head..."was the elevator hacked...are they going to start making it go up at warp speed like in the movies and then drop me from way up high? Oh God. I need to get the f&ck out of here...I'm super late for the party." The 30 seconds was starting to feel like hours. I grew shaky with adrenaline, a little watery eyed from nerves, and I knew I needed to pull it together or my makeup would be ruined. "40 seconds have passed. This is ridiculous. I can't wait any longer. It's time to take action." I drop to the ground and empty my bag, searching for anything that might be helpful in helping me get the doors open. I had nothing. I knew what I had to do. Nothing was going to stop me now. I jump up, slide my feet to right throw my hands on the left door and with all my might I pushed the door. It would start to crack a little but slam closed again. This only gave me motivation. I tried again. "Almost got it." Finally, I opened enough to where I could see light and "BOOM." The elevator jolted again and all of a sudden the doors slowly opened. "I'm free!" I run out of the elevator and race towards the front. I see security and explain that I got off but they should do something so people didn't get back on there until it was checked out. I grab my uber and weave through traffic to finally reach my destination. My driver thought it was a good idea to read my palms and while he didn't see anything happening that would make him want me to get out of his car, he did express that he saw writing as a part of my career (which is actually accurate) and said I should be writing. I finally arrived at the party and had a ginormous blast...thank you QueerCon and #BugCrowd. Meanwhile, I awoke this morning and thought, "You know uber man, you're right...the world needs to hear about the fight and struggles we go through to be at DEFCON. We are committed and will stop at nothing to be there and our parties. It's scary, but we're brave." Stay tuned for more on "Adventures in DEFCON"

#quincy